Rethink Resolutions: Why Reflection Matters More Than Rigid Goals
I’m just going to say it—I hate New Year’s resolutions.
It’s not that I’m against growth (obviously!) or setting intentions. But the typical approach to January often feels like pressure wrapped in pretty packaging that screams “It’s A New Year, So Make It A New You!”
That mindset often pushes us to make sweeping changes—usually by adding more to our already overstuffed to-do lists.
It’s easy to blame ourselves for being lazy or undisciplined when resolutions don’t stick. But more often, the real issue is that resolutions are based on who we think we should be—not on who we actually are.
So…what if we did it differently?
What if we used this season not to overhaul ourselves, but to listen to ourselves?
What if, instead of trying to become someone new, we took a moment to acknowledge who we already are—and ask whether the life we’re living is the life we really want?
January Is an Invitation to Reflect
The turn of the year can be a meaningful marker—not because it demands a “new you,” but because it offers a moment of pause.
Taking time to reflect helps you make sense of what shaped you over the past year—maybe a project that stretched you in the best way, a relationship that supported you, or a routine that left you feeling depleted. It’s a chance to notice what gave you energy, what drained it, and what you're no longer willing to carry—so your Nxt steps are guided by what actually supports the life you want to live…now.
And that’s what helps you step into the new year with direction that feels honest and decisions that actually fit.
Letting Go Isn’t Black and White
One of the most challenging things in life is releasing what no longer serves us. Even when something isn’t quite working, we often stay because it’s familiar, or because it offers just enough good to justify keeping it around.
Rarely is a job, a habit, or a relationship entirely good or entirely bad. We live on a continuum. We weigh the pros and cons. And sometimes, we settle and rationalize…
It’s not that bad. It’s manageable. I can live with it.
But is “not that bad” the bar you want to set for your one and only life?
Part of the work I do with clients—and something I’ve had to practice in my own life—is defining what “good enough” really means. It’s not defined by other people’s standards, or by what we’ve always accepted as normal. It’s defined by when we thrive.
That awareness changes things.
We get to raise the bar. We get to say, “This used to be fine, but now I want more. I want to thrive.” That’s not selfish. Nope! That’s self-honoring.
From Resentment to Realignment
I’ll give you a personal example.
For years, I was the “go-to” person. If something needed to be handled, I’d get the call. If a problem came up, I’d step in. And while there was a part of me that loved being the reliable one—the one people trusted to follow through—there was also a part of me that felt worn out, stretched thin, and, at times, taken for granted.
And I realized something important: I had created that dynamic.
I had trained the people around me that I would always say yes. I liked being needed—but I also resented how automatic it had become.
So instead of making a resolution to “set better boundaries,” I asked myself a deeper question: What do I actually want from these relationships and responsibilities?
I didn’t want to disappear, and I didn’t want to stop helping people.
That insight became the foundation for a new kind of intention—not just for a new year, but for a new way of showing up.
A Better Kind of List
If you’re the type of person who loves writing things down (I see you!), consider this:
Instead of listing what you want to achieve, try identifying three areas of your life where you’d like to feel more aligned. These could be patterns, roles, or ways of being that you’re ready to shift.
Then ask yourself:
What part of this pattern have I created, even unintentionally?
How could I set things up where I could stay connected without feeling consumed?
What’s one small way I can start moving toward that?
Rather than set lofty goals, jot down - and answer - these questions.
The answers can lead to meaningful change.
The Ranch in Winter: A Season for Something New
If there’s ever a time to reflect deeply and realign intentionally, it’s winter.
At the ranch, everything slows down. Snow blankets the ground. The mountains outside my window shift with the light, reminding me that transformation doesn’t need to be loud to be profound. Inside, there’s warmth—crackling fires (it’s gas, but perfect nonetheless), tummy-warming dinners, and soulful conversations that last long after the hot beverages go cold.
Winter at The Immersion is both cozy and clarifying.
Clients tell me there’s something about the quiet here that brings their own voice back into focus. They come for coaching, but they leave with something more—a sense of deep rootedness, reconnection, and a direction to move forward.
And so, if you’re standing at the edge of a new season—one this all resonates with you—I invite you to come to the ranch and experience it for yourself..
Let’s start your year not with pressure, but with permission. Not with a resolution, but with reflection.
Let’s grow something good together. Schedule a consultation with me, and we can see if The Immersion is right for you.
