You Get to Decide When to Initiate a Change

When was the last time you had a sense that something important needed to change in your life, and then you hit a point where you made up your mind and decided to do it? If you stop and think about it, I bet every important change you’ve ever made began when you chose to initiate it.* It’s like facing a closed door in front of you and deciding it’s the right time to open it. It’s the way change begins. And I’ve seen it happen that way time and again.

I had a friend named Bob, whom I met shortly after moving to Colorado. He called me after finishing work on a Friday afternoon and told me that when he was driving home that day, he concluded that he hated his job. Bob knew for a while that he didn’t really like the work he was doing (he talked about it often), but on this day, he admitted to himself that he truly hated it. Apparently, as he arrived at home and was sitting in his driveway, Bob decided it was time to not only leave his job, but to find another career path entirely. Three months later he went back to grad school and was off and running toward a brand-new career.

I also had a neighbor (Anna) who lived in an apartment across the hall from me when I was in college, whom I absolutely adored. She was always so cheerful and easygoing and an absolute delight to be around—until she allowed her boyfriend to move in with her. Turns out he hadn’t said a decent thing to her in the six weeks since he moved in, and she was incredibly miserable having him there. But she felt a bit stuck and wasn’t sure how to get him out. 

After he said something particularly rude to her one morning, Anna made up her mind that she had put up with enough. She told him she was ending their relationship and he had a week to find a new place to live. The following week, Anna had her apartment to herself again and was back to being her happy self.

And then there was Tracy, who worked with me at a U.S. Senator’s office in Denver. She always talked about quitting her job and moving to Italy to take cooking classes, learn about growing wine grapes, and travel throughout the country to immerse herself in the language and the culture of the country. One day, Tracy walked into the office, handed our boss her resignation, hugged me, and said “I’ve decided it’s time to follow my dream. Visit me in Italy!” She walked out the door. I still think of her today and smile.

Each one of these people saw a closed door in front of them and decided to initiate a change and open it. Finding your Nxt doesn’t occur out of the blue; nor does it happen without your conscious intent to begin the process. The journey to find your Nxt begins when you decide to initiate a change and step through the next door in your life. 

The Three Areas of Change

Initiating a change is not your actual Nxt—it’s the first step toward finding your Nxt. To find your Nxt, you must first decide to initiate a change from what you are currently doing, to something else in one, two, or all three areas of your life, including:

• Your work

• Your major relationship 

• Your lifestyle

In Bob’s case, he initiated a change in his work when he realized he hated his job. (Yay Bob!) Once he decided to make a change, he was able to begin figuring out what was Nxt—which turned out to be entering a grad school program that took him toward a whole new career path.

Anna’s change stemmed from the relationship she had with that bum of a boyfriend. Obviously, it wasn’t serving her (because nobody should be that miserable in their relationship), and once she recognized that, Anna knew she had to choose whether to continue to stay the course or to change. Luckily, she ended up deciding to take her life back—and kicked her boyfriend to the curb. From that point, she was able to take some time and figure out her Nxt. (Yay Anna!)

Then there was Tracy. Nothing was wrong with Tracy’s life when she initiated a big change. She simply wanted a much more exciting lifestyle. (Yay Tracy!) So she initiated a change in her current lifestyle to free herself up to step into the Nxt chapter of her life—in Italy. (Which still inspires me to this day.)

Change can happen to you (not something we usually prefer) or it can be initiated by you.  Recognizing which area(s) of your life change can happen to move your life forward, and taking the initiative to make it happen is one of the first steps in finding your Nxt.  If you aren’t happy with your work, or a relationship or even how you are living your life – please don’t settle.  Look at the situation, determine whether it is serving your (or not), and if you know a change will make your life better – initiate a change.