Matthew has a saying I've heard about a thousand times over the years.
I'll ask him for something simple—"Honey, could you just change the lightbulb in the bedroom?"—and he'll look at me and say, "Nothing is ever just a lightbulb. It always turns into a project."
And darn it if he isn't right. (After all these years, I've learned to listen :)
I've been thinking about that line a lot lately because I'm standing at the edge of a pretty big project (of sorts) of my own.
In December, I turn 70.
A Big Birthday Makes You Look Both Ways
I'm smiling as I write that because 70 feels both completely natural and a little impossible. And I have to tell you, these milestone birthdays make you think.
They make you look back at where you've been, what you've built, what you've accomplished. But more importantly, they make you look ahead and ask: where am I going from here?
For those of us around my age, I think that is the real question. Not "How did I get this old?" but "How do I want to set up my life from here? What do I want this next decade to look like?"
I've always been a woman who loves to make shit up. I love doing new things. I love change. To me, it has always felt like a natural part of life. So naturally, I keep coming back to one question...
What do I want my 70s to look like?
I Loved My 60s (Truly)
When I stepped into my 60s, I was excited to attack them with gusto.
I wanted to do things I'd never done before, and I did. I started The Immersion right here at CC Blue Ranch and invited clients to come experience the life Matthew and I had built. I wrote my first book. I was blessed with two granddaughters (Ella and Talula). And we got two of the best dogs (Charlee and Finn) that I’ve every had! We traveled and in just about every imaginable way, I built a life on the Ranch that I absolutely love.
I just loved being in my 60s. Loved it.
And now I'm looking at a brand-new decade and, honestly, I'm even more excited about my 70s.
Even Coaches Find These Questions Hard
Now, being excited does not mean I have any of this figured out.
How do I step into this decade gracefully? What do I want professionally? What do I want personally? These are not easy questions for anybody. And as a coach, I find myself sitting with the very same questions I ask my clients. What are the concerns? What are the opportunities? What’s really important to me…now?
It's a little unnerving. A little uncomfortable. And that's okay.
I'm enjoying the thought process. Actually, I think I'm enjoying it because I don't know all the answers yet.
When I let myself really look at the possibilities, they're pretty wonderful. Maybe I'll write another book. I did one in my 60s, so why not write one in my 70s? Maybe I'll take my coaching to the next level. Maybe I'll do more public speaking and finally make room for some of the things I've always wanted to do. I have the time. I have the resources. Why not?
It's a very exciting time. A little uncomfortable, yes. But very exciting.
You Are Never "Done" Designing Your Life
I talk a lot about the idea of designing our lives. And I think there's a misconception that once we've set things up in a certain way, that's it. This is the life we built, so this is the life we have to keep living.
I don't believe that for a second.
Instead, I think we get to redesign. Over and over and over. And for some people, a milestone birthday or a big transition is the first time they realize they get to design their life consciously and intentionally at all.
I get to have a say in my life. You get to have a say in yours.
I think that's something worth holding onto at every age.
Why I Still Go Back to My Own Workbook
When I wrote the accompanying workbook to my book, Finding Your Nxt: When You’re Ready for the Life You Really Want, I wrote it with this idea in mind: we don't find our Nxt once. We find it over and over and over again. I wanted it to be something you could come back to as life changed.
And here's the funny part: I go back to it myself.
Those questions came out of my own life and my own work. And it is so tempting to put them away and think, I've done it. I'm good. Achieved. But life doesn't work that way. We have to revisit the same questions. What's most important to me now? How do I want to design the life I'm living now? What has changed around me? What has changed in me?
Right now, I'm living the life I designed and I’m enjoying it immensely. And I'm still finding little tweaks I want to make, some with the seasons and some over the years. Both can be true. You can love the life you've built and still reshape it as your circumstances change. I think that's what keeps us fresh. It keeps us young. It keeps us alive.
"Now What?" When You've Already Arrived
This comes up with clients all the time.
Someone sets a goal: by this age, or by this point in my career, I will do X. And then they do it. Which is fabulous. We need to applaud that immensely. Yay!
And then this funny thing happens: Okay...now what? Sometimes there's almost a regretful feeling to it. Oh geez, now I have to realign myself. Now I have to figure out what's next. The accomplishment starts to feel like a burden instead of the wonderful thing it is.
I like to turn that around. We don't get one Nxt in a lifetime. We get multiple, multiple Nxts. Every time we reach a goal, we get an opportunity to reassess where we are, look honestly at our circumstances, and take the next step from there.
You're not done. You simply get to ask what's Nxt.
Look Ahead—and Look Around
I'm very much a forward-looker. My eyes are almost always on what's coming next. Maybe you're the same way.
But this idea that both can be true has been on my mind a lot. We can be intentional about where we're going, what we're working toward, what the point is, and still be fully present in the life we're living right now. If we only ever have our eye on what's Nxt, we miss things. Little things. Big things. The things happening right in front of us.
Right now, for example, I am completely in love with the ducks we got this spring. They greet you. They follow you around. They're very vocal and very friendly. They do not want to be touched or held; they just want to be around. I love them to pieces.
And if I only ever looked at the horizon, I'd miss them.
So pick your head up. Pay attention to what's around you. And then, yes, keep looking ahead.
Your Nxt, at Any Age
Whether you are turning 30, 50, or 70, or you are simply standing in one of those "Okay...now what?" moments, sit with a few questions:
Your work: What do you want this next chapter of your work to feel like?
Your relationships: Who do you want to be doing life with, and how?
Your lifestyle: If you designed your days from scratch, what would they look like?
You don't need to answer all of them today. I certainly haven't. You just need to remember that you get to ask.
And if you'd like some help designing or redesigning what's Nxt, that's exactly the work we do together. Maybe that's a few unhurried days here at the ranch during The Immersion. Maybe it starts with a conversation. Either way, let's figure out what's Nxt for you.
Here's to the next decade, and to all the Nxts we haven't even thought of yet.
