Willingness to Settle

How often do you think you settle for things in your life that might not be what you really want, but you tell yourself, it’s ok, it’s good enough?

It’s not uncommon.  You get into a routine in your life where the excitement and intention behind what you are doing begins to wear off and you begin to go through the motions of living your day-to-day life without giving it much thought anymore. When you’re going through the motions, you pull yourself out of bed in the morning, push through the clutter and disarray of your personal surroundings and have no interest in changing or improving the way you live. You get to work to do your job already anticipating when the workday will be over so that you can leave and go home.  Or you wait for your partner to leave the house so you can have some “quality time” to yourself.

The hard part about pushing through your willingness to settle is that you know that if you take a good long hard look at that thing in your life that you know isn’t quite right anymore, then you must face it.   And then what?  Facing it makes you either sad and disheartened…or you have to do something to change it.  And that can be hard.  And Scary.  And paralyzing.

So you accept that things aren’t good enough and convince yourself that it’s ok.  

You settle.

Because you feel like you have to take what you can get.

Because you don’t feel like you have the right to make a change.

Because you’ve been taught that you should be grateful for what you have.

Because you don’t believe that you deserve more.

You settle and then rationalize that it’s ok, and that rationalizing is what keeps you in your place.  It feels easier in the moment to hold onto the comfort of your surroundings.  But it isn’t easier to settle.  It takes a lot of rationalizing to keep going.  It takes a lot of coping with what you have that isn’t working. 

Admitting to yourself that you’re settling for something that isn’t exactly, or even close to exactly, what you had hoped it would be…is really hard to do.   Because wanting more than you have is somehow too much to ask for.  Too much to expect.  Your self-protection mechanism steps in to make sure you’re not constantly disappointed if you’re not living the life you had dreamed was possible.  

Recognizing that you are settling requires an honest assessment of your current reality.  

It’s only when you begin to question what’s missing.  Why doesn’t it feel right?  And why you feel less than satisfied, less than happy, less than content, or simply unfulfilled…that you can begin to ask yourself if it’s possible to want more.  Get more.  Be more.

The number one reason that most people settle for something, is because they don’t believe that there’s something else out there that could be better.  They have forgotten how to want more.  Dream more.  Expect more.  So, they stick with what they have, because “what else would I do anyway?”  And change is usually messier than staying in a situation that isn’t making you happy.

Imagine if you did face it.  Imagine if you recognized that you were settling…and you could do something about it?  

The funny little secret is…taking that first hard step toward facing and admitting that something in your life is not enough…is actually a relief!  It gives you permission to say you expect more!  And with expectation, comes empowerment.  

Stop for a moment and say out loud – “I want more!“  Say “I expect more!”  Now, for the big one, say “I deserve more.”  The empowerment first begins with saying those words.  OUT LOUD.  

Your willingness to settle in the past doesn’t have to block you from Finding Your Nxt.   Demand more for yourself.  You deserve to get, and be, everything you’ve ever hoped for.

the immersion